Another Feedback Thread from Me

[Aphetoros]

Well, I can't seem to find my old one to bump it (perhaps I'm too tiredly gleaning over it...) I really want some feedback on my RP, my writing, if I've improved at all in any of these since I first arrived on CotH and if my state of mind and personality has become more tolerable (I know I had some issues in the past, and I did work to resolve them, but now it's time to see if it worked!)

Another thing, I really want feedback on this stuff. I have this... problem where I don't think anything I do is good and I want to see what you all think of my writing. If there's anything I can improve on, or you see a way I can improve on those poems.

I also have this thread, which catalogs not only Astus's journey, but the difficulties of necromancy's path. I'm trying to portray a gradual loss of humanity, with Astus's doubt and worry superseded only by his fear of death. Eventually to become a hollow shell of that which he once was, only to be reminded that in the face of death even gods may fall.

Thanks in advance!

[ThePharaoh]

I've come to be very fond of your RP, although we've never really had steady consistent RP which is odd to me. I've liked your dedication to the character Astus and it was fun even from a third party perspective to see his decline into necromancy ( or ascension however you wish to put it ) The beginning of my RP with you is honestly rather fuzzy, I do remember during the second restart when I started the Novalights as Nobles, Astus and Jid were supposed to work together. It was awesome and I was excited for it because I do enjoy RPing with people who have enthusiasm for it, who want to take the initiative to go a creative step passed mundane. I enjoyed Astus' and your own willingness to participate with the Novalights.

However months later down the road when we finally started Astus seemed to have changed ( probably due to IC actions ) which made him seem against Novas. ( specifically that time when he introduced his new Felsworn friend, the Big homey Marianna Bisen. ) Which is why the double-cross and the attack ultimately happened. Which I feel bad for OOCly. -Although- when I appeared on GMI with a level 1 alt I did hear you and a few others talking some stuff while I wasn't there which Screen shots. Needless to say I didn't appreciate that. Got over it though, i'm like a decade older than you. *sigh*

On to the positive...

I -love- -LOVE- how you took over the Server with the Eclipse phenomenon. I've never seen anything like it, anything pick up so quick, so strong with genuine interest. The riddles were well thought out and tied people together in the Server. You and I have the same idea which I think is the way we should be going. We web our stories because you've realized on CoTH -we're- the lore chars. If The Novalights are talking about The Dawnsends, The Seregons, The Silverfangs, The Blackstones, The Bisens, or bandits, pirates, Night Elves, warlocks, were most likely talking about the stories and actions of other players. Why not get everyone involved. I love that, that is one of your goals, because it was something that I never knew how to approach when I first joined the server.

The Eclipse I still say is so impressive, I had people talking to me about it from every direction. "^_^ Omg! A new Eclipse post!!!" "Did you see the new riddle?^_^" "Did you get it " which left me like... "No.. I didn't get it." Its why I posted the Jackie chan picture because at first I was like. "Heey thats catchy, or sneaky!" Then it was like ."Whaaaat you can do that on the forums?" so Props to you for having one of the most interesting ways to lure attention. I love how you would just post one picture as your tag for the idea. Even in other threads that was so genius. I'd love to be able to attempt your idea and presentation but I'd fail horribly. Its unfortunate the way the initial Eclipse event went down though. I believe it could be something that Rensin told me in my feedback a while ago. If you got a lot going on then maybe you should slow down and make sure your scenario is clear for everyone. I do this all the time like "x Novalight" killed so and so and now "Y and Z Novalights are like wtf" but "A Novalight is going to team up with B, C, D, to accomplish Issue 4" which leaves people who don't RP with me everyday too overwhelmed to hop in. I'd say the biggest issue with the Noble Summit was the level of organization and confusion.

Which you said your partner bailed so it isn't anything against you, and I know when Grogloki had ideas for the Summit he had just a political hearing in mind. He told me you had spoken to him about the idea and was very excited about it. I even offered to help you afterwards ( and still will ) I just was too confused on where too start. From the basis given to work with it was hard to link the story together. I would love to see this kick start again, or something new in a similar way. I'd like to see more of you or your characters shine. You have a lot of good things to bring to the server. If you ever need some victims, allies, or enemies the Novalights or any of my characters are more than willing to join.

[c0rzilla]

...I think you know how much I like Eclipse, as much as I badger you in Skype to work on it.

Unfortunately, we can't seem to be able to RP since you/Tom seem tangled with other people. Work on untangling yourself. Miss you, bud.

You seem hesitant to finish what you start, but perhaps that's due to confidence issues. You've got plenty of people to help with Eclipse! My Skype chat idea didn't work the first time, but when events and things roll around...make one! PM everybody about it that's working with you.

Not sure how to close this. So, have a <3.

Edit: Forgot! The story thread is awesome, though you seem slow in updating it. And, I think I told you before what I thought of your poetry, though I'm not sure I'm qualified to critique it.

[Aphetoros]

Which I feel bad for OOCly. -Although- when I appeared on GMI with a level 1 alt I did hear you and a few others talking some stuff while I wasn't there which Screen shots. Needless to say I didn't appreciate that. Got over it though, i'm like a decade older than you. *sigh*

Yeah, I -still- feel bad for that. I was talking about how much you'd startled me with it, and that I didn't know it was going to happen going into the RP-- it all ended well and good, though, so it was alright. I think I remember saying something about how I didn't really want to die and I didn't know I was going to die and then someone was like, "You can refuse char warnings." And I was like, "orly." *Shrug* Sorry for that one, wasn't intending for a fence offense.

I think I might need to plot a new thread-- the current one seems to have... died a bit, no? Perhaps find a way to lead people to the clues on how to join the Eclipse (because they're there, no one's found 'em yet.) What do you all think? New thread? Try to AED death-shock kickstart decrepit, me-posting-five-times-in-a-row old thread?