Conquest of the Horde

<There are posters hung around all the goblin cities... and also Orgrimmar. There are a small stack of envelopes next to the poster with an address labelled on them. Warning, very mild language. Poems should be posted in this thread.>

Citizens!

Do you bear a grudge? Resentment for a man? Did someone steal your woman, or your lunch, or your woman's lunch?! Fear not! Violence is the answer most of the time. For the rest of the time, there's the Hate Exchange Poem Contest of Manly Hate!

Brought to you straight from the hosts of the incredibly successful Frostbrand Tournament, this here is the first official poem writing contest of the Hate Exchange. The idea is simple. First, pick someone you hate with a passion, whether it be a cheating human whore slut lady or the last fellow to roughen you up in a fight. Second, write a poem about them! It can be deep, it can rhyme, it can be funny... but above all, it must be manly. No soppy crap accepted. Poems are to be twelve lines maximum and four lines minimum.

The entry fee is five silver. Take one of the envelopes nearby and mail your poem along with the entry fee to the provided address. The winner of the competition will receive a whopping ninety percent of the provided entry fees. Second place will receive a mystery prize. All poems are to be written in common. A maximum of one poem per person. Entries close soon, so hurry up! And remember, it's never too late to hate!

... Unless you're a dumbass and miss the closing date.

Yours sinc Love From

<It seems the writer gave up trying to find an appropriate signature for the posters and just wrote the words HATE EXCHANGE in big block letters at the end>

Voragh shambles out of his Ratchet hovel, head throbbing, muscles aching, joints popping, eyes narrowed and hand up against the punishing morning sun. He pauses to squint at one of the posters, snatching it off the nearby wall and turning it in his hands.

"Did . . . I put this up?"

Shrugging, Voragh blindly shoves the flier into the face of a passerby. "Go write a poem. It's manly now."

A Letter to Brother

Dearest brother, how are you, I hope you’re doing well?.

I wonder if you’re comfortable as you BURN IN HELL.

Your life had been so easy that it almost made me sick.

On Whyrme’s test for Psychonance you’d have got full ticks.

(This is of course assuming that the test was run in suitable condition, and not including Pyhre’s recommended emissions which would complicate the results. Therefore we are taking both the first and third theory as true, but not the second theory because it has been disproven many times to be false. Unless one is to believe the dubious evidence presented by the Endmer couple. But getting back on topic, for the above full ticks we are assuming that the mystery element of personality, hereby dubbed x, is the product of two times its predecessor in relation to the ticks on micro management and philosophy (shortened down, X = 2(p[2,17])), after taking in all other results, of course).

A bunch of submissions are dropped to wherever submissions are dropped:

Spoiler:

Warning: Offensive language behind the spoiler.

Spoiler:

A large, grumpy Orc shoves a sheet of paper into the box or... whatever is being used to contain the poems.

Spoiler:

The humble chef, Jeanne Pierre, slips a letter into a mailbox.

Spoiler:

Rensin goes up to said mail box. He sighs. He's holding a piece of paper that looks like it's been scribbled on a lot.

Spoiler:

Carved into the side of the mailbox by a disgruntled Hate Exchange employee...

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
One more such rhyme,
And I'll put a knife in you.

Somehow, someway, the mailbox was stuffed with two pieces of parchment. Old and dusty, slightly tattered, these pieces looked as if they were written many, many years ago. Written by a gnome from a long-gone era, one that doesn't rightly exist anymore.

The submissions are anonmyous. How they got into the mailbox is anyone's guess.

(( Warning: Language. Also anything within <>'s is gnomish.))

Spoiler:

mimloopen

Sol

mimloopen

DaveM

Loxmardin

Hawk

Cressy

Harmonic

LostStranger

Krent